sssh

:P

I'm probaly gonna quit out of live-journal. I just don't use it often... nor do I really care to. So say your goodbyes :P
sssh

*)($%#$@

I want to shout out to my British friends (and anyone in the UK) and am hoping they're all okay after the crap that happened this morning. It sickens me to think why people can justify taking another's life, especially if it's something so stupid as London winning the chance to host the Olympics.

My stomach has sunk to my feet and all day I'm going to do my best to contact all my UK friends and family and make sure they're all okay.
  • Current Mood
    angry angry
artequalslife

What's a girl to do?

Honestly I'm so stuck, I have feelings for 3 people but in different ways.

My friend (close friend for many years) is the most wonderful, nice and sensative man you can ask for. He's not attractive but normally I like his kind of build (a bigger man, nice face type) but there's no spark on the physical level at all... maybe I'm over-reacting with his personality thinking that maybe he's just a friend and that's it... but there's something there I don't quite understand :( But whenever I tell him about how much I adore his personality I regret it... like I don't want to date him? I don't know... I think I'm more afraid of hurting him again because he is such a good friend.

Now my other friend I've known only about 1/2 year but I have this weird feelings for him. I want to talk to him a lot, I want to try and impress him (even though I don't have to) and I just want his approval and I get all giddy around him... I like who he is so far and he is attractive (apparently not to my friends but bah!) and he shares my tastes. I want him to make the choice if he wants to take the plunge but I'm a bit trigger happy... I know I'm not the most attractive girl, I'm overweight and pretty much a total tomboy... (I've found my tomboyage to be intimidating to most men and a total turn off *sigh*) so I'm not sure if he thinks the same of me...

The last one is a lot like the first, the same feelings but I haven't known him very long... (in fact he's really not even in the running so much).

I tend to ask a lot out of guys because of a bad childhood that's scarred me pretty deep. I don't like deep kisses all teh time and can't (medically) have sex.... other than that I'm pretty alright (I've been told) I treat guys if they treat me and give presents but my memory is shotty so I can forget special times (d'oh!)

In the 4 guys I've dated not one has treated me much like a girl. No flowers, no romantic-ness, nothing... I'm pretty old fashion, sweep me off my feed (maybe not literally) treat me to something romantic, snuggle, massage, a kiss here and there and I do enjoy cuddling up and sleeping with someone...

I just don't know what to do or if I'm hopeless and to just leave well enough alone....
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed
sssh

A story

I usually write stories in my head, due to my bad grammar and spelling ;) So while it's still fresh here it is:

This story is © me, Katie "White Dragon" R. 2005!

Collapse )
sssh

:P

This is pretty close to true... except the pseudo pagan in me says the religious part to God is bullhonkey... I do however listen to my gods, aka mother nature and her crew of spirits ;)

Collapse )
  • Current Mood
    crazy crazy